Update :

FDA Approves Manly Skin Cream
by Anonymous

August 8, 2004 -- The FDA has announced that il Duce line of cleansers and creams from Calabria Cosmetics have been shown to safely and effectively reduce the appearance of wrinkles. Calabria Cosmetics was the focus of controversy after initially announcing that the active ingredient in the il Duce line, hyaluronidase, is extracted from the sexual fluids of human males.

"We feel vindicated," said Jiri Giovanni, chief chemist at Calabria Cosmetics. "Our sterilization process is entirely safe and our products have the potential to make thousands of women feel more beautiful and smarter."

Hyaluronidase acts to reduce wrinkles by winding the collagen fibers in the skin, effectively making the skin more tighter and more elastic. But the il Duce line is not without its detractors.

"Quite simply, humans are not the best source for hyaluronidase," says Desmond Sparrow, an organic chemist at Portland State University. "This enzyme can easily be collected horses and bulls in much larger quantities."

"We only want the best for our customers," says Giovanni. "Humans are at the top of the ladder, and we only collect from the finest specimens. Each of our providers must pass intelligence and physical exertion tests and is a strict vegetarian. Our products can legitimately be called 'organic.'"

The il Duce line ships nationally on August 15th.